We lurch from bad to worse, to absolute disaster.

With over one million animals either slaughtered or earmarked for slaughter, they are clearing the Fells of Cumbria of everything that moves - healthy or diseased - except cattle. Sheep farmers are being wiped out. I went up there last night and found out that they are even slaughtering sheepdogs, llamas and pedigree alpacas for Chrissake!! 

After much lobbying though, we finally got it through to government that they must vaccinate, only to learn today that when the government applied to the EU Commission for permission - as we must do under Community law - the Standing Veterinary Committee has refused to allow general vaccination. It authorised us only to dose 180,000 cattle (which only leaves 12 million unprotected). 

Despite media "EUphoria", we have been totally shafted by our trading partners, who now have a ready market for their surplus meat. To get it, they have just signed the death warrant of the British farming industry. 

Meanwhile, our great prime minister, the reverend Blair, has mobilised the Army Catering Corps (you couldn't even invent it!) to take part in the great sheep slaughtering race in the deepest, man-made pit in Cumbria, to whom they are shipping double-decker truckloads of perfectly healthy animals. 

We are dealing with serious insanity here, the animal equivalent of the Battle of the Somme, where the "generals" are ordering hundreds of thousands of sheep "over the top" to their deaths, all in the name of some manic policy. 

We are calling this Blair's "Emergency Vacillation Policy", executed (quite literally) by the Ministry of Agony, Death and Destruction (MADD), masterminded by Dr Death himself, aka Jim Scudamore and his willing assistant, Poof in Boots... 

Historians will look back at this period with horror, remarking that insanity stalked the land, while the politicians bickered and the population looked on in silence and let it happen. 

May God have mercy on our souls.

Dr. Richard North PhD.

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